sinkthemin:

• Don’t share your deepest, most heartfelt emotions with the internet.
• If you don’t want to be fat, exercise and don’t eat like shit.
• Don’t complain about politics if your breadth of political knowledge came from youtube conspiracy videos.
• If you want stuff to happen in life, you need to work. 
• Do not date someone you met at the bar.
• If your appearance deviates from the social norm, people will make judgements about you. Know this, and stop bitching.
• Don’t wear sneakers with jeans.

This is my friend mike. We’re very similar.